How did it go? you ask...here is my answer.

It has taken me this long to process at least part of THE experience at General Conference in Fort Worth.
I certainly do not know where to start and as a writer that is a scary feeling. Yet I feel the push from the Holy Spirit to share with you a very brief, almost concentrated summary of what happened there, what it means to my spiritual life, my ministry and the challenge the Lord has posed before us.

First of all, both my pastor and I have been sincerely "questioning" God for a year, why would he allow me to serve at General Conference this early in my Christian journey. Some of you already now I had no plan to run as a delegate. Yet my love for the One who loves me unconditionally, enables me to always say Yes to Him, without conditions.

Months prior to GC I had reservations, I was anxious and nervous, not knowing what to expect. This is the only church I know, this is the church I love and I hold high expectations for it as the church holds high expectations of me. My pastor advised me wisely, he said to me that not all are as spiritual in the church as we would expect. He said the church is made of different people at a different point in the process of sanctification and renewal. He advises me to keep my eyes and my ears open, to expect positively the best and not to let the negative discourage me in my journey. Ha! May I just say...

Upon my arrival back to Orlando, many have asked me, "Well so how was it?” I stumble to answer, because my mouth wants to say all the positive things I saw and heard and I struggle to withhold, not the negative, but what it is truly wrong with the UMC in the USA. I owe it to them to know the truth, I owe it to my sisters and brothers to know that there is long way to go, that there is a lot of work to do, that we cannot afford to sit and meditate on the glories of the past. That, Yes! It's true! The UMC is a sleeping giant that is in perennial hibernation. Our experiences in the local church do not represent the global view of our denomination.

Sidenote: Something wonderful is brewing in the grassroots of our church and it is that the Holy Spirit is opening a vain where ever He is allowed.

The first week at GC I was entranced. I could not believe the wealth of resources, the wonderful people, the great sermons by the bishops, the miraculous ministries taking place all over the globe. I fell in love with the language of Holy Conferencing, Racial & Ethnic Inclusiveness and Global Church. My positively pink glasses colored the panorama for me, with twinkling stars added!

The second week I started to have conversations with Him, serious ones. As I learned that the language I fell in love with was just that, romantic language. I would believe that it is a requirement to allow the Holy Spirit in, in order to have Holy conferencing. Thank God, he purposefully did, through the Uganda Children’s’ Choir and the Nothing but nets campaign. That is what God cares for and wants us to care for. Everything else seems vain.
Racial and Ethnic Inclusiveness, seemed open doors for Hispanics but it seemed that the open doors to other groups will depend upon the results of four year studies and the Global Church will not be possible until we are willing to let go of old structures, control and the boldness to overcome the status quo.

The pink glasses where gone and I was confronted to see all as it was. “This is my church.” He whispered.

“Huh?!” I answered. I’m always bewildered by His love, it is truly unconditional and that honestly bothers me sometimes. “ But … but…” I insisted in angry tears, “but this is what we do with your church and you allow it?” He simply responded, “Tere, you all do this to Me everyday.”

In the next seconds my mind rushed and a pain struck me from within…

Warning: Those who know me know that I am a very, very honest and painfully frank writer. So what I’m going to share next might be a little too much for some, but I recommend you read ‘til the end. I believe it to be a happy ending.

I could not bear to serve in a church that seemed flaky, wishy-washy. I struggled to understand why God would call me to become an Ordained Elder in a church of bureaucratic human-worldly processes. I saw myself stuck trying to please God against all odds. We do this to You everyday? Then I started to bargain…

“Lord, tell me why you brought me here? What do you want me to do? If you tell me to do so… I stop everything right here, you want a church that loves you above all things, I’ll go wherever you send me and open a non-denominational church. We can start all over!” I think he must have chuckled, ‘cuz the conversation ended there. I sulked desperately. I made the call my pastor was waiting for. Trial of Faith was his diagnosis. Yes, doubts about our church, was my reply. He prayed for me and we talked. He helped me digest it all.

This is where I was called. This is where my Lord wants me. This is where He wants us giving the good fight! The fight for the renewal in the Spirit, the true Word of God written in the Bible and the making of disciples for the unique Savior of our souls, Jesus. Non of the above is negotiable, non of the above is conditional and there are many youth like me defending just that! And as long as we have a voice, we will give our lives to this battle giving the Glory only to Him!

The UMC is my church and I love my church, it might not be as perfect as I expected it to be, but guess what, neither am I, and I am the church. If I am disappointed about the UMC, it may mean that I need more work to do with myself. Maybe the way to wake up the giant is awaking one of its members at a time. So that each one of us grows more and more convinced that there is something more, there is more! All there is to it is to seek it and ask for it! Yes, there was a strangely warmed heart; there is a consuming fire waiting to be reclaimed.